My Prayers Have Changed

A lot has happened since May 28, 2011.   And, yet, I realized that the #1 lesson learned from that experience was not recorded.   As I lay in the hospital room, my baby in NICU and I being interrupted by a plethora of nurses, I was overcome with tiredness.  I began to pray that I would be able to "not be tired."  As I did so the thought came to me, "You are praying for the wrong thing," and I knew I needed to pray for strength to endure the tiredness that was inevitable in my situation. This mini-lesson has had the most impact on me for the past 8 months (has it been that long already!?), and one that has forever changed the way I pray and the way in which I trust the Lord.

I post this youtube video more for the story she tells before the song than the actual song (though the lyrics and music of this song are beautifully haunting).  Listen to the story.  Listen to the song.  And as you do so, think about what you are really praying for.  Think about who God needs you to be.  And think about putting your trust in Him.   Enjoy!


Embracing Winter

As we have had a couple of days with spring-like weather, I thought I'd never say that I was sad winter was coming to an end.  There was a time when I really hated January and February.  There seemed nothing good in the darkness, the overcast skies, the wet & dreary world of winter.  But I can say this year has been completely different for me.  For the first time I think I have learned to embrace winter.

A friend of mine gave me an essay in which I found this quote:

"Wintering is about creating stillness in our lives.  It is about emptying, letting go of activity, ceasing our striving and just resting in our being."  - - George Such

When I read that I thought, "Yeah!  That's what I've been feeling these past few weeks."  Stillness.  And it's been weird.  Really weird.  I can say I've almost been bored a few times.  This stillness has opened up a new realization for me in how I have completely bought into the myth that busyness is productive, that the busier you are the better you are.

I know these days of stillness may not last forever, but just having these moments of stillness are necessary for our hearts to be filled and our lives to be full of the purpose God intends for us. 

"There is wisdom in having regular rhythms of stillness inour life. We need a pause each day to be renewed, fresh and centered."   - - George Such


The Effects of Downton Abbey

Today I asked A if she wanted to wash her big dishes.  She threw her book down, stomped into the kitchen and said,

"I just can't wait until I marry someone royal so that everyone else can do my chores for me." 

Can you tell what we've been watching?!


Teething and Eternal Perspective

This too shall pass.  Such an oft-heard remark.  I was just telling a friend, "Yes, it will pass, just in time for another thing to come to pass."  Why are we so eager for hard times to pass?  I know...it's not fun to have trials, it's not easy, challenges aren't what we necessarily seek for.  I've been thinking a lot this week about how we have been placed on this earth for that very purpose:  to have experiences that we may learn and grow to become like our Savior.  If we didn't have opposition, we won't have the experiences we need in order to learn the things we need to learn to become who we need to become (did you follow that!?).  :-) 

A baby teething is one of those experiences.  The last two days our baby has been fabulously happy!  Smiley.  Eating well.  Content.  The only reason I notice this with so much appreciation and elation is because the last two weeks have been awful with him.  Demanding.  Whiny.  Fussy.  Sleepless.  The normal signs of teething.  Instead of embracing the moment, I murmured.  And murmured.  And murmured.  Then today it hit me.

The teething is going to happen.  Babies get teeth.  It's going to happen whether I am happy about it or not.  The only thing I have control over in such a situation is my response to the inevitable learning experience. 

Experiences in life are sometimes like teething.  They hurt.  They are inevitable.  They are exhausting.  Sometimes there is no immediate solution.  Their time table is unknown  (sometimes the hardest part of any trial).  Also, they are for our benefit.  Without teeth, babies would never become independent eaters.  Without these seemingly impossible-to-bear experiences we would not become the beings we need to become. 

I know there are people suffering from much more challenging experiences than a baby teething.  The solution is still the same.  Our response is what's important.  What we're learning is vital.  Who we are becoming is critical.  When Nephi was beaten, mocked, and tied up by his brothers, what was his response?  He never ceased from praising the Lord.  During these experiences it is essential that we look up and ask ourselves & the Lord some important questions:

What am I to learn from this experience?
Who does the Lord need me to become?
How can I change my response from murmuring to gratitude?
Where will I be after this trial is over?

Life is good. 
The Lord intends for us to have joy...not only in the end, but throughout the whole journey.
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