The Four A’s of Gratitude

I have tried gratitude journals. 

They don’t work for me. 

Writing down a few things I’m grateful for each day somehow makes me feel worse. 

I’m a thankful person, I think; but that deeper sense of gratitude seems to elude me for some reason. I guess I’m kind of afraid to accept that things are good in my life. Maybe I’m afraid of going into denial about the stuff that’s hard. Honestly, this exercise makes me feel bad about feeling sad or angry or whatever “ungrateful” emotion I’m feeling at the time. 

As I thought about this I stumbled upon the concept of The Four A’s of Gratitude. There are a couple of versions out there and I’m not sure where it all originated from, but this idea resonated with me. 

The four A’s are: Awareness, Acknowledgement, Appreciation, and Action 

Awareness

Wake up! Many of us are sleepwalking through life. In our busy lifestyles, we have the “to do” list running constantly in our minds and we plow through our day to check things off that list.  

Richard Rohr has said that 90% of people live 90% of their lives on autopilot. 

In a time of awakened authenticity and heightened anxiety, we forget to look for the good things. We sacrifice awe-inspired for reality checks. It’s in the natural man to look for the threats, it’s in the spiritual mind we feel safe.

Awareness looks like pausing to take deep breaths throughout the day. It looks like accepting the hug from your child instead of pushing them away because you’re in the middle of something. It looks like taking a break from your phone for a chunk of time. It looks like sitting down to eat rather than eating while you go. 

These are moments throughout our day that instill gratitude in our hearts. 

Acknowledgement 

Acknowledgment is about recognizing why you have what you have and are where you are.

You are not the only person driving in traffic. The heat doesn’t magically turn on in your home. The food in the grocery store came from somewhere, harvested or packaged by many hands. 

We live in a time of abundance because of the many who lived before us. We are never alone. There is always something to acknowledge when frustrations start to creep in and we forget. 

Humility found through acknowledgement instills gratitude in our hearts. 

Appreciation 

You don’t become healthier by reading about nutrition, you have to put it into practice. This is where appreciation comes in when fostering gratitude. This is the feeling part. 

This is where I think I get stuck. If I appreciate the thing that’s good, I’ll forget or not be honest about the thing that’s bad. Apparently, I have it all wrong. 

Letting in the good is not going to dissipate the bad. We can simply make space for feelings of appreciation. There is room for both. 

Holding space for appreciation instills gratitude in our hearts. 

Action 

Physically expressing gratitude actually has positive physical outcomes. Gratitude has been known to lower stress levels and decreases stress hormones, reduce inflammation, lower blood pressures, improve sleep, and improves anxiety and depression. 

Remember, however, when trying to just keep a gratitude journal, I actually felt more anxious instead of less. So, the action itself may not bring warm fuzzy feelings. But I do believe with time, even that physical practice would eventually change me. 

There are many ways to show our gratitude.  I, personally, love writing “just because” notes to friends or giving small gifts like sourdough bread to friends just to say thank you. 

Prayer and meditation are beautiful ways to express thanks. Meditation is becoming a part of my everyday routine because it instills in me a sense of love and gratitude. (I don’t know that I would have labeled that feeling as gratitude without this new insight of the 4 A’s.)

Physically acting on our feelings of thankfulness instills gratitude in our hearts. 

With Humble Heart

Ultimately, gratitude comes from a place of humility. A humble person has an attitude of gratitude. When I think about He who created me, I can’t help but feel grateful. I know there is pain. I know there is sorrow. The blessing of a heart filled with gratitude is that we can feel both at the same time because God is good. God is love. 

* * * * * 

Day by day, God’s gracious love surrounds me 

As a balm to soothe my troubled heart. 

Countless cares and worries that confound me

Fade away or quietly depart. 

…

Day by day the Lord is ever near me, 

Granting loving mercies for each hour

And my care He gladly bears and cheers me

With His counsel pure and holy pow’r. 

Hymn # 1013 God’s Gracious Love