My Tribute to Jeffrey R. Holland

I know I’m a little late in honoring President Jeffrey R. Holland. It’s been hard for me to put into words how this feels, the loss of this man.

 

He was the apostle of my youth. I remember him coming to our stake conference not long after he was called. 

He was the apostle of my motherhood journey. When I became a mother, I read and re-read his talk: Because She is a Mother. I ate it up and cherished his words. I also fell in love with his dear wife, Patricia, during this time. 

I remember meeting him in the streets of Salt Lake City and running to shake his hand. He was kind and gracious. 

I was a mother of many young children when he gave the Behold, thy Mother talk. Again, words I needed to hear, words I still cherish. 

Like a Broken Vessel was equally as timely because of some questions I had on mental health for myself and my children. I think his empathy towards those with mental health challenges has changed a lot of our cultural beliefs and expectations. I’m grateful for his boldness and his care on this subject. 

This walk down memory lane could go on and on. His death is a heavy sadness for so many. He resonated with many during his time as an apostle, it’s unbelievable the impact he had in the world. His final talk, I’m sure, brought more to tears than just myself. 

He said, “I came to whole-souled convocation that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is a true restoration of the New Testament Church…because I could not deny the evidence of that restoration. Since those first experiences, I supposed I have had a thousand—ten thousand?—other evidences that what I have spoke of today is true.” 

And then he sang: 

        Amazing grace how sweet the sound 

       That saved a wretch like me 

        I once was lost, but now I’m found

        Was blind, but now I see. 

Though he was very careful to keep his personal near-death experience sacred, the snippets he did share are enlightening. Here we have a man of God who has dedicated his life to testifying of Jesus, and yet he was told to testify more, to pray more. As he felt the instruction to take this to others, and because he had stewardship to do so, there is profound lessons in his experience for us. 

Pray more. 

His talk on Motions of a Hidden Fire will be a constant in my life. He talks about the power of praying vocally and honestly. Too many of us say rote prayers, surface prayers, saying things we think we’re supposed to say. I believe God would rather us be angry with him, to share with Him our sorrows and frustrations, and to ask our questions rather than shut off from truly hearing what He has to tell us or turn away from him completely. I believe in a God who wants us to talk to Him. Pray more! If not more often, at least more deeply. 

Testify More. 

There was a time I wasn’t ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ. As a teen I was not shy about declaring my beliefs. Still, I am a frequent visitor at the pulpit on Fast Sundays. However, I can say as my worldview becomes a little broader, I have become a little more apologetic.  It’s hard to preach the ideal when some people’s lives will never be ideal. It’s hard to ignore the pain that some truths seem to cause myself and others. And yet, I take courage in President Holland’s words, “How easy it is for us to dismiss the source of our redemption because the ingredients and the instruments seem embarrassingly plain.” 

I love Jesus! I believe The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has necessary pieces for coming closer to Him. President Holland refers to anointing and washings. He speaks of temple work and ordinances for those beyond the grave. These are truths I have been convicted of myself. Testifying is not something to be ashamed of or thought as less than. People are all over the place giving testimonials of any product you can imagine! Why not testify of Jesus Christ!? 

Yes, Jeffrey R. Holland was a man of eloquent and powerful words. Those words were emphasized with his great devotion to God, his testimony of Jesus Christ, and his love for the people he knew and served. We are all indebted to the mark he left upon the earth during his mortal ministry. He will be greatly missed. 

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“We need to believe in angels and miracles and the promises of the holy priesthood. We need to believe in the gift of the Holy Ghost, the influence of good families and friend, and they power of the pure love of Christ. We need to believe in revelation and prophets, seers, and revelatory…We need to believe that with prayer and pleading and personal righteousness, we really can ascent to ‘Mount Zion,… the city of the living God, the heavenly place, the holiest of all.”   — Jeffrey R. Holland, April 2024