Word from Jada
Okay, so I just read an interview with Jada Pinkett Smith. I liked her answer here:
Q. What do you tell ...mothers who really want to go for their passions in their life, while still being there for their children?
“Just being able to really understand how important keeping one’s passion alive is. I think that once we do it, we realize how much it feeds the spirit. And then we have so much more to give to our children and our families versus feeling like we’re stealing something from them. Every last one of us knows the importance of taking those hours and those moments for ourselves that we usually won’t because of our own guilt. It’s not about hours. It’s not about time. It’s about spirit. You do what you need to do to keep your spirit alive.”
Everywhere out there we hear, "What about ME time?" or "I need some ME time!" or "You can do everything...plus you need ME time!" Right?! This mantra out in the world today creates two scenarios. 1) I need ME time and won't be happy unless I get it (selfishness); and 2) Those against this mantra feel guilty when they do take some ME time.
So, the reason I liked Jada's comment is because it's right. The "world's" view of ME time is about hours and time, when really ME time must be centered on the spirit. Early on in my motherhood days I told J. I needed to carve out 2 hours each week just for me. So, we established every Thursday night or whatever as MY night. This worked okay...but it didn't necessarily fill the void of needing to feed my spirit. It was simply two hours of ME time whether I needed it or not.
Now another way to look at filling our own buckets is by figuring out what are my needs vs. why don't I ever get any time for myself. For instance, I have currently been feeling the need to get to the temple more frequently. All sorts of excuses have popped up to NOT make this happen. One of them being, "I feel guilty leaving my kids." I'm sorry, but that is one place I should be able to go without feeling guilty! :-)
Taking those moments for ourselves need not be a guilt-ridden experience, so long as it is balanced and truly filling our spiritual needs. Again, I don't want anyone reading this to start thinking, "Yeah, I need some ME time" in the worldy sense of the phrase, but rather, "What does my spirit need so I can keep on giving to those I love." Maybe it's an evening walk after dinner. Maybe it's an early morning hike with a friend. Maybe it's just that quiet time after the kids are in bed or before they wake up. Maybe it's not a need of yours at all! :-)
Take some time this week to fine tune your needs and then create time for them to happen.
Interesting that you posted this right when I started writing again. I know I don't have time for it, but when I'm not writing (fiction--not blogging) I start to get resentful. You don't want to resent your kids!!!ReplyDelete