Validation Statements

The other day I was listening to how my 12yo spoke and reacted to different scenarios. 

Which led to me thinking about how I speak.  Oops!  We do tend to lead by example, don't we! 

And so I am re-reading one of my favorite books  (see picture courtesy  It's a great refresher course and so much more eye-opening with older kids in the home. 

At breakfast the other day we created a list of Validation Statements on our white board:

I understand...
I'm sorry you feel that way...
What can I do to help?
That would stink!
What would you like to do about that?
I agree!!  (my favorite)

And then someone thought of one word:  LAUGHTER
Instead of getting defensive, laugh about it  (within respectful boundaries, of course).  Sometimes we take life a little too seriously.

That's what we've been working on.


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